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Steak & Eggs

by Natalie Fideler

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cherrybomb
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cherrybomb the first chapter of my favorite book Favorite track: Spring.
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1.
Spring 03:18
I spent the weekend with my friends Getting drunk and eating too much Acting like we rule the world When it's fucking us over We all push through the week again And all go to Mark’s on Friday When Sunday morning shows her face We’ll be right where we started If it keeps getting cold like this I don’t know if I’ll make it I’ll put my scarf and mittens on But they can’t make my meds work Spring on this campus Looks a lot like winter elsewhere I’ll never understand where they get off Telling us it’s getting warmer While my muscles are all frozen And my episodes get so bad that I can’t pull my cold ass out of bed Stand in the crowd and sing my heart out Crying about how I peaked at fifteen The summer’s coming and I can’t stand The overwhelming pressure to have a good time Tell me, do you really give a shit about my art? I never saw it coming that you’d be Smart enough to give me blue lips Saying you would check my SoundCloud If I keep getting sad like this I don’t know if I’ll make it I’ll throw my heart up to the clouds Screaming, “Why?” And if you ever loved me You sure have a funny way of showing it I don’t know why, but I can’t keep my head above the water And as I drown at least I get to swim among the fish We should have saved the Great Barrier Reef Instead of me
2.
Party at our place A couple bottles down the hatch Said they’d be back in ten So we waited for your car The headlights pull up And we shout, “Thank you god” As you put up, pull up, show up, I’ll never be your girl As much as I’d like to, You’re too far inside yourself The war between my lungs Can only be solved by Our breathing coexisting You used to be my safety blanket, But I got too warm Guess I’ll have to trust my skin There’s strength in our number So count your blessings as they leave Choices made after midnight never come cheap I’m wringing my hands hoping you’ll ring the doorbell And crawl back with apologies Tell me not to worry That the voices in my head are all made up But just like Dumbledore said, Why would in my head mean they’re not real? You used to be my morning protein shake, But I’m too buff Guess I’ll stick with steak and eggs I think I’ll never come back And see the city this way Orange and pink fade to blue I’m still thinking of you Turn that playstation on And pretend we’re all okay It’s just fine
3.
Down 04:58
Sitting here in your room I don’t know what I’m supposed to do But I know I’m not supposed to cry When I go down on you But I guess maybe this is why they call it Going down Lying here in the sheets There’s nothing between us, dear Except the sweat that draws a line Climbing up our inner thigh I can’t shake the feeling that I guess we are both Going down Long Island’s saying, “Come to me” And Texas says it’ll set you free So won’t you, baby, promise me that We will never change Give me strength to be The kick-ass, sweet cacophony That you promise I can be and I will be for you Soaking here in the rain So happy that I’m in pain Before you my life was so dull Your heart can’t break unless it’s full But our days are numbered Up until we break apart Then at that point we’re Going down Come on, baby, stay with me Keep your eyes open with ease I can’t bring myself to sleep ‘Cause it means that when we wake We’ll be going separate ways So keep your eyelids from Falling down Now Boston’s saying, “Come to me” And Brooklyn says it’ll set you free So won’t you, baby, promise me that We will never change Give me strength to be The kick-ass, sweet cacophony That you promise I can be and I will be for you Shake me from my pedestal Wrap me up in your love Give me something I can use as Something to fall asleep to I never thought I’d feel this way The place I left is where I reap what I’ve been missing and That one thing is you
4.
I wanna feel like you’re inside my bones When I’m rockin’ to sleep Cut me and divide me up even to Give me some peace ‘Cause I’d never felt this way until You strung me out to dry Call me a masochist ‘cause I’m starting to think I like it when I cry One more drink and I’ll tell you I’m undressing you with my eyes It’s kinda makin’ me nervous, but Baby I don’t mind If there’s one thing that I remember From music history of the west It’s to analogize cumming with dying So let’s close our eyes And flirt with death I’ve been laying in this thick fog For a couple hours Can’t tell if I’m starting to change Or if I’m just bored Shifting titles for myself In some attempt to make my name I’m already playing with myself A game I know that two can play So let’s play Yeah, I see an image of Myself before you Take a minute to say my name as You savor what I’m feeling too An entire generation Of desensitization Is pouring out in front of me Tell me, what can I do To make you move the way you do Inside my dreams
5.
My Type 04:15
You’re the type of movie I wouldn’t see in the theaters But I’d bootleg you on solarmovie And watch you in my underwear From the comforts of my home You’re the type of credit I wouldn’t go for Unless you satisfied two core requirements Meaning that I just might Graduate on time You’re the type of T-shirt I only sport when All my favorite one’s are in the wash The type of CD I only pull out During boring road trips But I like awful movies and outfits that don’t match Dusty, B-rate CD’s and efficient credit stacks So I guess you just might be my type You’re the grand piano that I play in the twilight Screaming poetry that I would never share Unless you might stumble in here asking, “Who?” And, “Just what have you been up to?” You’re a guppy swimming fast through the river Darting past the watching eyes And when you’re drifting, my breathing gets stiller So I don’t miss when you fly But I like midnight ravings about my trashy love And I hope someday you’ll swim over and tell me what you’re thinking of And what is your type of love You’re the type of headache that leaves me laying in bed Cursing at my reading lamp For straining my eyes and keeping me up so late I’ll break the type of silence that I can’t find comfort in For a brief moment of adrenaline that leaves me at your feet You’re the type of movie, the type of credit, The type of T-shirts, CD’s, The baby grand, the guppy man, The headache and the silence So I guess you just might be the headache and, so quietly, I guess you just might be my type
6.
Honeybee 05:35
I’ve been questioning everything Wondering what I did wrong to kill the purest love I ever had I’ve been thinking And living inside my head Because it’s just as lonely out there As it is in here And I’m trying so hard not to, but I might always love you But never in the same way as before Our romance met its maker while we were fast asleep Now I’m the only one waking up Tell me, Honeybee Where things should be Because for so long I trusted your eyes alone What I wouldn’t give For just one more taste of the thrills we had But I’m sick of digging through the past Searching for something that we merely had Lush words shared between lovers’ hearts Torn up and thrown to the wolves For sport or maybe for slight of chance Love so beautiful and care so much deeper than my bones Being pushed into the overpass to linger no more And I’m trying so hard not to think that you will never love me Even if it’s just different than before Our romance met its maker while we were fast asleep Now I’m stuck in paralysis Can you hear me? Baby, please Take my fears and we’ll run away To a place where the nights are quiet And we’ll stay hidden in the dark Consummate with me and the melody ‘Cause you can’t take my heart away ‘Cause it’s already been sold and shipped off Wrapped up for you
7.
I had finally sunk my teeth into Something beautiful that I would never trade I was crazy for a taste of something that you’re holding on to So I can’t be so surprised That you walked back to your consciousness For a moment of relief Leaving me to question everything And as I watch the play by play From my spot here in the cheap seats I’ll tell you everything I did wrong I won’t suffer anymore Searching for the keep that opens up the door To your heart ‘Cause there’s just four blank walls Telling me that I should comply with something I am not I was in one too many Kirky Sig’s To tell you anything untruthful But if my ambiguity makes you start to sweat Maybe you’re in one too many too I think you’re beautiful In every single way Except the part where everyone knows You’re a narcissist And I can tell just from the way you’re looking at me I don’t like you as much as you like you Cursed are the midnight dreams that lead to you Lord, give me strength to find the peace that’s hidden inside of me To complete my transformation operation to rid myself of desperation For anyone as unworthy as you

about

Through the use of colorful harmonies, intricate lyrics, stylistic double-dipping, and cheeky honesty, Fideler seeks to inspire deeper thought and reflection into personal emotional states and experiences via catchy tunes that will leave you dancing and ripping your heart out at the same time.

The album is a staple showcase of Fideler’s multifaceted musical talents because she composed and arranged every song on the album as well as played every instrument and sang every track in the studio. Because of her formal studies in classical music and composition, the intricacies of common practice era and 20th-century music theory shine through in her work via the use of irregular phrasing, abnormal form, and colorful chromatic harmony. Rooted in an alternative pop genre, each song is influenced by an eclectic cocktail of genres journeying through punk, funk, surf rock, emo, folk, jazz, and rock. Each tune is written with intricate, honest, and cheeky lyrics to provide dialogue and internal monologue on personal experiences in hopes of inspiring deeper thought and self reflection in listeners.

credits

released October 13, 2018

All songs composed and performed by Natalie Fideler.

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Brady Odegaard and Alex Johnson.

Artwork by Jean Fideler.

Copyright © 2018 Natalie Fideler All Rights Reserved

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Natalie Fideler Minneapolis, Minnesota

Natalie's music tastefully embodies the intersections of saccharine nerd rock, 90s female angst, and a singer-songwriter sensibility. Her funky fresh mix of pop, alt rock, and R&B will leave you dancing and ripping your heart out at the same time. Her vulnerable lyrics transform each song into a story that speaks the truth of raw human experience whether it be tongue in cheek or right on the nose. ... more

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